i hate it...
i really really feel like dying right now. My studies are now in a mess. 3 failed subjects and 1 a near pass and another 1 looming over me..Zhi yan helped me calculate my legal's tota; score...Guess what, i didn't meet the mark...the passing mark is 25 and i got a lousy 23...
what in the world are my parents going to say?? i like totally disappointed them like nuts..I'm the oldest among my parents' kids and also among the grandchildren from my mum's side. i'm supposed to be the FREAKING ROLE MODEL, THE ONE WHO MY GRANDPARENTS WILL BE PROUD OF AND BOAST ABOUT TO THEIR FRIENDS...how am i going to face them...my grandparents and my parents who love me so much. Who have so much hope piled upon me, praying for me to succeed. Praying for me to do well and yet i disappointed them time and time again...what kind of daughter and granddaughter am i??
i failed so bad in my role as the older sister and the role model.
I thought back to what the counsellor at the placement centre told me. He said that if i want to apply for the taylor's law school january intake, i would have to use my trial results and the total TER has to be at least 75%-80%...looking at my current results now...i wonder...will i be able to get my desired results...
i seem to be taking SAM pretty lightly and for granted. Especially the intake for the law school...will i be able to do it? i just wonder...
i want to be able to get in...make it and make my parents proud of me. i want to stop disappointing them, stop making them sad and worry for me...i just feel so useless over my careless attitude and lack of discipline....i know my faults really well and i believe God had given loads of chances to correct these flaws but somehow, i kept disregarding them. i kept brushing aside the chances God gave me and now...i'm paying the price...
this will be my goal...to prioritise properly and be more disciplined. no more fooling around ande being distracted. NO MORE!!!
just hopefully, i pray..God will hear my prayer and help me...
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