i'm now having a splitting headache and honestly, its like torture. Not to mention that horrible allergy i had a few weeks ago is back to rear its ugly head at me.
My face started to itch yesterday. The problem is that since i was so preoccupied with finishing up my english investigative study that i didn't realize when it started. But then, thinking about it and talking it over with mum, it might be the tom yam spaghetti. Maybe, just maybe I'm allergic to tom yam.
For the past few days, I've been up till the wee hours just trying to finish my english research project. It was really, really tiring and i know that if i had started earlier, i wouldn't be so stressed out. It was all procrastination on my part. I know that and I hate myself for not having enough discipline and self control. Ever since i got back from jb, all i did was just esl and nothing else. All the promises and i made to myself on finishing my math(revison &homework), econs and legal, it was all just stupid talk. Empty promises to a gullible me.
What a fool I am...
I made up my mind at the starting of the hols to get an early start on my homework. I wanted 2 start over. I really want to do well in all my test. OH MY GOD! I WANT TO DO WELL SO, SO BAD. But...looked what happened. I got my accounts results back for CA 2. Like d previous ones, i didn't do well on ths 1 either. I have a feeling i'm goin 2 get a D for my accounts. My legal is confirming getting a D. A FREAKING,CURSED D!!!! ARRRGGGHHHH!!! Guess wht, I got a B for english. WTH!!!
i can only blame myself. I didn't work hard enough. Why oh why didn't I learn from my mistakes? I thought i've learnt from d mistakes i made in form 5 which lead 2 my dismal spm results. now...
i'm goin to disappoint my parents again..
please god...i don't wan t 2 make my mum and dad sad again. I'm the oldest, i'm to set an example. My mum and dad has been worrying non-stop about me since i left for kl. Especially mum. She worries too much and because of this, I worry for her. Her health, her mental well being. I don't want to add to her burden anymore.
I want to make her proud of me, damn it. I want dad, who had always believe in me and encouraged me, to be proud of me too. I want my brother and sister to be proud to tell others I'm their sister. My brother. dear idiot yang...i want im to grow up to be a good person and do great things. But first of all, I have to do that first. I worry about him so much.
yi...I don't have to wory about her. She has turn out to be someone whom i know will not stray. But i pray that she'll learn to take on more family responsibilities liek taking care of yang, mum and dad when I'm not around.
There's only 1 thing to do ut first...I have to go through seeing and hearing the hurt in my mum and dad's heart. Bleeding and the disappointment. From now on. First things first, studies cames first and everything must take a backseat.
After all, if i want to achieve my dreams, i have to start early. Most especially on mt studies.
Lord, watch over me.
stay by my side and make sure i won't stray
keep me to my promises
please don't desert me in my time of need
Lord, I need you
no one can help me but you
only you
i pray for forgiveness, discipline, self control
your love
Amen.
My face started to itch yesterday. The problem is that since i was so preoccupied with finishing up my english investigative study that i didn't realize when it started. But then, thinking about it and talking it over with mum, it might be the tom yam spaghetti. Maybe, just maybe I'm allergic to tom yam.
For the past few days, I've been up till the wee hours just trying to finish my english research project. It was really, really tiring and i know that if i had started earlier, i wouldn't be so stressed out. It was all procrastination on my part. I know that and I hate myself for not having enough discipline and self control. Ever since i got back from jb, all i did was just esl and nothing else. All the promises and i made to myself on finishing my math(revison &homework), econs and legal, it was all just stupid talk. Empty promises to a gullible me.
What a fool I am...
I made up my mind at the starting of the hols to get an early start on my homework. I wanted 2 start over. I really want to do well in all my test. OH MY GOD! I WANT TO DO WELL SO, SO BAD. But...looked what happened. I got my accounts results back for CA 2. Like d previous ones, i didn't do well on ths 1 either. I have a feeling i'm goin 2 get a D for my accounts. My legal is confirming getting a D. A FREAKING,CURSED D!!!! ARRRGGGHHHH!!! Guess wht, I got a B for english. WTH!!!
i can only blame myself. I didn't work hard enough. Why oh why didn't I learn from my mistakes? I thought i've learnt from d mistakes i made in form 5 which lead 2 my dismal spm results. now...
i'm goin to disappoint my parents again..
please god...i don't wan t 2 make my mum and dad sad again. I'm the oldest, i'm to set an example. My mum and dad has been worrying non-stop about me since i left for kl. Especially mum. She worries too much and because of this, I worry for her. Her health, her mental well being. I don't want to add to her burden anymore.
I want to make her proud of me, damn it. I want dad, who had always believe in me and encouraged me, to be proud of me too. I want my brother and sister to be proud to tell others I'm their sister. My brother. dear idiot yang...i want im to grow up to be a good person and do great things. But first of all, I have to do that first. I worry about him so much.
yi...I don't have to wory about her. She has turn out to be someone whom i know will not stray. But i pray that she'll learn to take on more family responsibilities liek taking care of yang, mum and dad when I'm not around.
There's only 1 thing to do ut first...I have to go through seeing and hearing the hurt in my mum and dad's heart. Bleeding and the disappointment. From now on. First things first, studies cames first and everything must take a backseat.
After all, if i want to achieve my dreams, i have to start early. Most especially on mt studies.
Lord, watch over me.
stay by my side and make sure i won't stray
keep me to my promises
please don't desert me in my time of need
Lord, I need you
no one can help me but you
only you
i pray for forgiveness, discipline, self control
your love
Amen.
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